Did EMDR Help Evan Rachel Wood Take Down Marilyn Manson?

Evan Rachel Wood posing for photo wearing golden feathery attire

Sexual abuse survivors around the world cheered when Westwood star, Evan Rachel Wood shared her experiences of sexual abuse by her previous boyfriend, Marilyn Manson.

Already a supporter of victim’s rights through charitable endeavours, Wood took it as far as the law.

Many attest to the overwhelming fear to speak up against the “powerful few” (generally Caucasian males in power), especially when so much is on the line.

Some call it “career suicide” to attempt to do what Evan Rachel Wood did.

But it was worth it.

Katie Kilkenny, reported in her March 16th 2022 article for the Hollywood Reporter, that in HBO’s Phoenix Rising documentary, that Manson’s victims were locked in rooms, physically assaulted, raped, and branded.

On April 18th 2019, Evan Rachel Wood publicly announced to her 1 million followers via her Instagram profile (and later the world via a Hollywood Reporter article by Chris Gardner), that she was undergoing EMDR.

Wood wrote, “I just started #EMDR. (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Its a kind of trauma therapy and I must say, is absolutely fantastic. Crying has never felt so good. For people struggling with their past traumas or PTSD and have the means to do so (which everyone should and it pisses me off that mental health is a luxury) I highly recommend this intense but very effective treatment. This is what I look like after a session. Been through a lot, purged a lot, but my eyes are clear and hopeful. Also,
NO. SHAME. IN. GETTING. HELP. ✌” See her post here.

Over 85,000 others have liked and supported Evan Rachel Wood’s post. Including comedian, Whitney Cummings, and Captain Marvel herself, Brie Larson.

Brie Larson accepting Oscar statue

After helping hundreds of others overcome their sexual abuse memories, and symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, I can attest to the power of EMDR.

Is EMDR just for survivors of sexual abuse or PTSD?

No.

But unfortunately since about 50% of women are sexually assaulted, and about 1 in 4 men are sexually abused, there’s an awful lot of people who can relate to Evan Rachel Wood’s experiences.

So it’s good to know, EMDR does a heck of a job with PTSD – good enough to be endorsed by the World Health Organization, the American Psychological Association, the US Department of Veterans Affairs, The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, and a dozen other leading healthcare organizations around the world.

A past client of mine (an architect), described her experience of undergoing EMDR with me after she couldn’t cope with the horrible sexual abuse trauma she had undergone by someone she had once trusted dearly.

Architect leaning over table working on drawings.

“My major concern was dealing with rape PTSD and all the myriad negative things I had dealt with that was related to that. For four chaotic and dark years, it changed every single aspect of my life. Nothing went untouched by this. My whole world turned upside down. Everything blew up in my face. My reputation, sense of identity and understanding of the world shattered. My personality changed dramatically. My interests changed dramatically. It was like I became another person and I had no control over it. Everything was impacted by rape. From the way I wore my makeup, to the people I associated with, to how I viewed myself, my relationships in life, work, everything changed.

From the very beginning Robert was so attentive to every detail and very organized. He responded to emails very quickly, was sensitive to any need I brought up, and handled everything professionally with care, and without judgement. I was amazed at how much he paid attention to the little things. I was so ready to tackle this trauma and get some sense of worth and meaning back into my life. Being stuck in such a delicate state, and being a highly sensitive person, I needed the right therapist and Robert proved himself to be it from the very beginning.

After treatment, “nothing changed” on the outside. But inside, everything changed. Something like rape will forever change you. Coming to terms with that, finding a new sense of identity that feels right, as well as some sense of purpose again, is a very difficult thing to navigate. Through the EMDR process I was able to “come back down” to myself and find stability in my mind and heart, and come to peace with my past. I was able to find the good in the bad about the situations I faced, but moreso in myself. For the first time in my life I experienced the feeling of being worthy enough to be cared for, loved, heard, protected and to have time spent on me. A beautiful domino effect happened. I can say that now I live with greater confidence about my boundaries, my worth, my individuality, and my right to navigate my life for my needs and interests. It’s a remarkably huge step in my life!

Without doubt I would recommend Robert! I already strongly suggested to a few friends that they should go! Learn about EMDR and if it seems remotely worth spending your time on, DO IT. Sign up with Robert and get started on making the changes you want in your life! Whatever is holding you back from going through this healing process, sacrifice it. If you are not whole and healed and healthy then nothing else in your life will be either. It all starts with you!” (T, Architect).

After T went through her transformation, Like Evan Rachel Wood, she was ready to face her abusers in court.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing has 8 standard phases.

Robert Grigore waving his hand mid-BLS.
  1. History Taking, Goal-Setting, and Treatment Planning: Here the clinician gathers important information about the client’s symptoms, life history, current state, available support systems – much like any form of therapy (this is like building the map to chart your route before undertaking a journey).
  2. Preparation and Stabilization: Here the clinician assesses and develops further internal resources to ensure the client can tolerate both positive and negative affect. Common techniques taught at this stage are “The Container” and “The Calm Place” in order to assist the client in controlling their state of emotional arousal (this is like learning to apply the brakes before you hit the gas).
  3. Assessment: Here is where the EMDR therapist and the client begin to focus on a specific memory or “target” and elicit basic details to ensure the proper neural networks are activated along with a nervous system response (simply talking about an event doesn’t produce a full state change). The client reports how it feels in the body, the emotions experienced, the cognitive distortion (i.e. a negative belief that feels true but for which the clinician knows to be false, such as “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not safe,” “I’m in danger,” “I can’t trust anyone,” “I’m unworthy of love,” “I’m worthless,” etc.), and also what they would prefer to believe instead (has to be realistic and adaptive).
  4. Desensitization: This is where the “magic” happens as the clinician initiates bilateral stimulation to activate both hemispheres of the client’s brain in alternating fashion to elicit the entire brain’s natural capacity to form new connections (neuroplasticity), and generate positive adaptive responses. As EMDR has evolved, new techniques exist to desensitize in a variety of ways along a continuum which allows the clinician to titrate how much the client’s brain freely associates to the material in question. This is especially welcomed for clients struggling with Complex-PTSD, OCD, extreme phobias, as well as those struggling with dissociative and other challenging forms of resistance (such as symptoms consistent with personality disorders).
  5. Installation: Once the target has been completely desensitized (meaning the client reports the absence of distress…where even the most horrific memories of trauma feel like simple facts and no longer negatively influence the individual), the clinician focuses upon strengthening the positive belief (if the negative belief was say, “I’m worthless,” the positive would be something like, “I’m valuable regardless,” or if the negative was, “I’m not safe,” the positive could be, “I’m safe now regardless” and so on). When the client reports feeling the positive belief feels completely true in reference to the specific target, the clinician moves to phase 6.
  6. Body Scan: Here the clinician asks the client to think about the target, along with the positive belief, and scan their body to notice any areas of the body which might hold any negative tension (such as doubt in the stomach, or tension in the solar plexus, etc.). This is a critical stage because the body acts like the umbilical cord to all of life experiences. As somatic beings, we feel emotions, and consequently, feelings can become trapped in the body during negative experiences (as a previous massage practitioner, I can attest to how the body tries to talk to us…just think about the sayings, “He’s a pain in my neck,” “I trust my gut,” etc.). Once, the body no longer holds any residual feelings of negative tension, the clinician knows to move on to the next stage.
  7. Closure: Either this means the session is over, or the target has been neutralized for now, and the clinician and client are ready to move on to the next one. As EMDR therapists work in what I call the pay-as-you-go model (60 or 90 minutes at a time), this usually means only one memory is worked through per session (or only part of a memory if it is really complicated). Personally, I’ve found tremendous advantage in working in the 3 to 5 hour blocks to allow for plenty of targets to be processed during one sitting. For the busy professional, this is ideal as they can accelerate their treatment plan to be started and completed in a very short period of time (the majority of my clients who elect to work in this way have needed approximately 3 days, with the more complicated cases needing 5-10 days, and the more simple cases needing only 1 day). Regardless, if the session is closing and the target hasn’t been neutralized, the clinician will direct the client to use the techniques taught in Phase 2 to ensure any distress is contained.
  8. Re-Evaluation: At the beginning of the next session, the clinician checks on the work from the previous session. This ensures that results are permanent, and nothing else has bubbled to the surface. An important part of the healing process is when the client looks back at a memory that used to cause such intense distress, and now sees that it no longer bothers them. This allows the client’s psyche to move past traumatic events, and finally put them to rest where they belong – in the past.

(Click here for a free copy of my book to learn more about EMDR, called “You Need Therapy. EMDR: Real People With Real Problems Getting Real Help“.)

No one will know if EMDR was the catalyst for Evan Rachel Wood to take down Marilyn Manson per se, but one thing is for sure, it certainly would have helped.

For those struggling to cope with their own symptoms of anxiety, PTSD, depression, addiction, and more, there is help…and with EMDR, it can come very quickly…and with Robert Grigore MCP’s Total Immersion EMDR, it can come in as little as a single weekend.

Don’t give up on yourself.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Written by,

Robert A. Grigore MCP, RCC#12316

EMDRIA Certified EMDR Therapist

EMDRIA Approved EMDR Consultant

Owner of Grigore Counselling

info@grigorecounselling.com

www.grigorecounselling.com

Book your free 1-1 consultation with Robert Grigore MCP, RCC today.

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When “No” Means No…Even When My Body Says “Yes.”

Confusing? Certainly for some. For others it’s as clear as day. You know the #MeToo movement, you have seen the news, you know that sexual consent is on the radar in the public forum (finally), but what about when when consent appears unclear–as in the body is saying “yes”, and the words are saying, “no?”

*Trigger alert* The information I’m going to share is based upon clinical experience with survivors of sexual abuse and sexual assault. If you are feeling vulnerable while reading this statement, please save this post and come back to it later.

I have been working with survivors of sexual abuse and sexual assault (“abuse” meaning the events took place prior to adulthood, and “assault” meaning after adulthood), for over five years as a Registered Clinical Counsellor. I am also Certified EMDR Therapist, the author of an introductory book on EMDR called, You NEED Therapy. EMDR: Real People, With Real Problems, Getting Real Help, and the owner of a boutique psychotherapy practice in Vancouver, BC., that focuses solely on using Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to help my clients transform their suffering into strength. Rather than explaining what EMDR is, I encourage you to read my other blog posts on the topic, visit my YouTube channel, or visit my website–suffice to say EMDR allows me to work with tons of clients because it works so fast!

I get the privilege of helping survivors through dark thoughts and beliefs about themselves based upon how their body responded during a traumatic sexual abuse encounter. Some of my male clients tell me, “Well Robert, I got an erection during my abuse, so I must have wanted it right?” and some of my female clients have said, “I don’t understand, my mind said ‘no,’ I went stiff as a board, but I still enjoyed it…does that mean that I wanted it?” You can see how these statements – and believe me they’re more common than you might think – would appear confusing to the survivor.

I’m going to debunk a few common misconceptions right now:

1. The body responds to physical touch, whether we want it to or not. For us males, if our genitals are being touched, caressed, played with (and for some even more violent means may fit as “playful”), the penis is likely to become engorged and an erection sustained – with or without our verbal consent. Furthermore, provide enough stimulation, and we will ejaculate. This does not mean that we wanted to. Every ejaculation does not mean we loved it, and when ejaculation is forced upon us, we are not enjoying it.

The same can be said for women too. Often, the right type of touch can create vaginal lubrication, and enough stimulation of the clitoris, G-Spot, and/or vagina can generate an orgasm (or at least “pleasurable sensations”). During stimulation, the body may respond in typical “pleasurable” fashion (i.e. movements, moans, goosebumps, etc.) – this does not mean women are consenting.

2. Even if the above situations are occurring (i.e. the body is saying “Yes”), but the words are saying “No,” LISTEN TO THE WORDS AND STOP.

3. If the words “Stop,” “No,” “I don’t think so…,” “I don’t want to…” “Maybe next time…” “I’m not sure…” etc. occur during an attempt to initiate sex, then STOP. Clearly the first four statements are pretty clear, but the last two, are a little less straightforward. Not everyone feels comfortable or confident or safe to clearly define their decline of a sexual initiation. Yes, it’s something they need to work on in therapy, but this does not give another human the right to take advantage of another’s verbal passivity.

4. The same goes for silence. The absence of consent and the absence of rejection, means STOP. For some people, the initiation of sexual contact is incredibly overwhelming, and their response could be to “freeze” in the situation (you’ve heard of fight/flight/freeze). This is a natural response to an overwhelming situation.

5. To expand upon #4., the “freeze” response is a valuable response to threat if “fight” or “flight” are not options. As soon as “fight” or “flight” become viable options, “freeze” often turns into one of the two. Imagine the rape victim who cannot escape their attacker, or when struggle creates more violence, “surrender” in the body (i.e. freeze) provides an opportunity to mitigate the damage and prepare for escape. Be very clear: in “freeze” the mind is still very active, the nervous system is on high alert, and the individual is looking for a way out.

There’s also a fourth response in extreme situations when “freeze” occurs too long or death appears imminent: “Shut Down.” In “shut down,” the body feigns death – meaning that the body prepares itself for “sure death,” by beginning to shut down the organs—it will become very limp, and the individual will experience a powerful analgesic effect. Should the brain interpret that the threat is “over,” the body will cycle back into “freeze,” and then “fight” or “flight.” Everyone’s body is equipped to respond to threats to their safety with fight/flight/freeze/shut down, therefore whatever happened to you is not your fault, it’s actually your body’s way of helping you navigate through a very traumatic event.

Should a person say “Yes” with both body language and verbally, get naked and stand in another person’s bedroom, and then say, “Stop,” it means stop. People can change their minds midway through a sexual exchange, much like they can through any other kind of personal exchange (just like your Starbucks barista wont force a latte down your throat if half way through the transaction you suddenly get the urge to cancel and go for bubble tea).

Rant over. I hope these points help to clarify that if you have survived sexual assault or abuse, but felt in someway that the event(s) were your fault—they weren’t. Even if you received physical pleasure or your body led you to believe you did, and you didn’t want the event to happen, then you didn’t give consent.

If you are a survivor of sexual abuse or assault, you can heal the damage that’s left over in the wake—negative thoughts, negative beliefs, even trauma that is stored in your body. In my opinion, EMDR can help survivors of sexual abuse and assault in a way that no other treatment can. It’s fast and forever—results are maintained and actually improve (according to research and clinical experience).

If you or someone you know is interested in seeing if EMDR might be a good fit, feel free to reach out for a free Congruence Consultation. The assessment takes less than 25 minutes, and then you could very well be on your way to a better life. We can’t undo the past, but we can transform how you live in the future.


With care and the utmost respect,

Robert A. Grigore, MCP, RCC #12316

EMDRIA-Certified EMDR Therapist

EMDRIA-Approved EMDR Consultant

Owner & CEO

Grigore Counselling

www.GrigoreCounselling.com

info@GrigoreCounselling.com

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EMDR for Weight Loss: The ONE Thing Your Current Diet/Exercise Plan is Missing

You’ve tried eating Keto, you’ve tried Paleo, you’ve cut carbs, you’ve cut fat, you’ve cut sugar. You’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars of diet plans and supplements — all promising that you’re going to go from zero to hero…if you JUST follow this plan. You go to the gym. You’ve sweat hundreds of thousands of hours…enough sweat that you could fill a swimming pool. You go on and on and on, but you never seem to lose the weight. At best there’s still some jiggle where you want sizzle. At worst, you can’t imagine how you’ll ever go on, and you give up. Where’d I put that last slice of pizza?

But did you know that you’ve been doing everything probably pretty close to as right as you can…except for ONE thing. And this one thing is going to be the difference between yo-yo-dieting, and dreaming of the perfect body, to actually living in it, and feeling like a winner.

What’s the “one thing?”

You’re not thinking properly.

Well…actually you are thinking about exactly as you are likely to be thinking based upon certain events that have happened to you in the past. Those particular events have created a framework in your mind, which generates one or more negative beliefs about yourself — which has made it essentially impossible for you to shed those extra pounds.

These negative beliefs are incredibly debilitating. They can pop up before or during a workout, they can creep up when you’re thinking about starting a diet, and they can leave you devastated when you fail. Here’s some of my negative beliefs that have entered my mind when I’m trying to exercise or eat well: You’re too fat; You can’t do it; I’ll never get there; I’ll never be enough; I’m ugly; I’m disgusting; Just give up; Just do it (not Nike, more like cheesecake); I’m not good enough; etc. You get the idea. Some of these beliefs have literally stopped a workout in it’s tracks. I’ve been lifting a barbell, doing chest presses, and hung up my weights and gone home. I’ve been running for kilometers, stopped dead in my tracks, and started walking home.

If it’s happened to me, I can bet it’s happened to you too in some way.

Here’s the thing: these negative beliefs go directly against your goal of getting in shape, eating well, losing weight, having more energy, and whatever else your exercise and nutritional goals are, because they go against you becoming your best YOU. We cannot be our best when we feel our worst. It just can’t happen.

Have you heard the saying that for every negative thought or criticism, we need 10 positive thoughts or compliments? That’s because negativity is so powerful that it literally changes our brains. Our ability to frame experiences into positive perspectives is directly influenced by previous trauma that we’ve experienced in our lives. There’s changes that occur in the Hippocampus of brain making it easier to see things negatively, and more less likely to respond positively — that seems like a no-win situation eh?

It is.

See how much a negative belief influences you by trying the following: if you’re a runner, go for a run and when you are starting to tire out, say the following words to yourself, “Don’t stop,” see how that influences your energy level. Next, say the words, “Keep going.” See if that’s different at all. If you’re reaching for the bag of potato chips your taste buds are begging for, say, “Don’t eat junk food,” and see how you feel. Then, say, “Be healthy,” and see how your feel.

And like you’re probably familiar with, the more negative you feel, the more self-defeating behaviours you are likely to engage in. With negative beliefs rotting your personal foundation, the best best shot you have at exercising and eating properly, is to do so out of hate. Your negative self-talk will sound something like this, “Don’t you touch that doughnut, you fat ass!” Or, “If you don’t get to the gym, you’re a loser!” These negative internal criticisms might work for a limited amount of time, but they won’t work forever. You don’t need an internal drill sergeant calling you a “maggot,” what you need is to see yourself in a positive light.

I’m not talking about “positive – thinking.” Every weight-loss guru, or self-help book can tell you that positive thinking is your “ticket” to a better you. Yes, that’s true, but what these weight-loss gurus don’t tell you, is unless you actually work through the underlying reasons for your negative beliefs, no amount of motivation is going to give you the results you actually crave.

What CAN and WILL give you the positive results you crave is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). This type of therapy unearths the roots of where those negative beliefs first came from, and eliminates them. When there’s no power source for the negative belief, it simply disappears. Seriously. And what takes its place, is a positive belief about yourself.

When you have positive beliefs about yourself – and again I’m talking about TRUE positive feelings you have about yourself that you CANNOT deny, even if you tried – you will be able to stay motivated, love eating healthy, and easily adopt healthy routines. This is because you actually want to nourish your body, because you love your body. You will WANT to do the things that make you feel calm and relaxed when it’s time for you to feel calm and relaxed, and you will WANT to do the things that you know you need to do to challenge your body, build its strength, and appreciate how it carries your heart, your mind, and your soul into each new chapter that unfolds during your day.


For a free consultation to see if EMDR is a good fit for you, please contact us today! We’re looking forward to introducing you to your new future. 1-(778)-883-4819 or info@GrigoreCounselling.com

With care and respect,

Robert A. Grigore, MCP, RCC #12316

EMDRIA Certified EMDR Therapist

EMDRIA Approved EMDR Consultant

Founder & CEO

Grigore Counselling

www.GrigoreCounselling.com

info@GrigoreCounselling.com

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5 Tips to Know You’re Ready for Change

Change. That word alone can strike fear into the hearts of even the “strongest” of us. For some, the word “change” is synonymous with “growth,” “development,” “achievement,” “success,” “enlightenment,” and so on…but for others, the word “change” actually feels more like “death.”

From the existential viewpoint, “change” means that we must relinquish the familiar, and adopt a new way of being-in-the-world. This can be quite scary indeed. From the way we think about ourselves, to how we interact with others, to the kind of exercise (or lack thereof) we prefer, to what career we’ve chosen, to the person(s) we choose to settle down with, are all products of our patterns and routines – that is, they are all determined by our core belief systems.

But what if you need to change some of these core belief systems and/or your patterns? How do you know if the time is right? How do you know if you’ll be ready?

T

he following is a list of checkpoints to help you determine if you are “ready” to make a change in your life:

1. You feel a gnawing sensation in your gut.

You may not be consciously aware of this just yet (or you’re trying desperately to push it out of your awareness), but that feeling you notice in the pit of your stomach, is most likely guilt – existential guilt.

As human beings, we have multiple layers of consciousness. One of these layers refers to the innermost awareness of yourself – the Authentic Self. This layer of you is concerned only with growth, development, and of being truly individuated. To put it bluntly: this part of you is concerned with “keeping you real.”

When you deny the truth of you in some way, this part of your conscience will react strongly.

When you act in discordance with what you truly know to be right or best for you, or when you deny your freedom to change by choosing to behave in old dysfunctional patterns, your Authentic Self will let you know it…with that old fashioned feeling of guilt in the pit of your stomach.

2. Others have been trying to tell you that you need a change – but you swear you never got the memo.

Your friends, colleagues, loved ones, health, family doctor, social network, and maybe even your dog are telling you that you need to “do something” about “this” or “that” but every time they go anywhere near that topic, your eyes simply glaze over, and you’re wondering what you’re going to eat for lunch… If that sounds like you, then you’re stuck in the “Pre-Contemplative” stage of change (although since you’re reading this blog, I’m going to go ahead and slide you into the “Contemplative” stage – see? You get points for reading!).

Carol DiClemente and James Prochaska developed a model of “change” called The Transtheoretical Model of Change. Their original model was intended to help understand the process of change in regards to addiction. However, this model has been widely accepted in the psychological communities as a basis to understand the change process in general. In this model of change, DiClemente and Prochaska suggest that people go through a series of steps regarding change:

Pre-Contemplative: During this stage of the change model, the individual is not aware that they need to change. Others may be aware, but the individual is usually so set in their ways that the idea of changing is not yet in their consciousness. We might also assume this part of the model is “denial.”

Contemplative: Here, the individual is finally aware that they may indeed have a “problem” or that alternative choices exist for them that might improve their lives (and perhaps the lives of others).

Preparation: During this part of the change process, the individual has decided that a change is necessary and possible. Here, they begin to research what information and resources might be necessary to make a change.

Action: This one’s probably pretty self-explanatory eh? Of course, here the individual has prepared themselves to the extent that they feel necessary to put into action what they have prepared for the change. This is the part where they “do.” Most people attempt this stage with a “Yoda-like” attitude: “Do or do not. There is no try.”

Maintenance: After a change has been made, the individual almost always has to “keep at it” in order to keep the change relevant. If it’s exercising, the individual has to keep the new routine, if it’s “letting your spouse finish what they have to say before you rush in there and complete their sentence, so that you can say what you have to say,” it’s holding your tongue and displaying a bit of patience (also, if this is you, please do “hear” what your partner has to say, rather than just letting them “finish”). The bottom line here is that change takes effort to begin, and effort to “keep the ball rolling.”

Relapse: Almost everyone (except for Yoda) falls back into old patterns from time to time – for some, these old patterns are highly addictive and/or dangerous. For others, it’s something as simple as going to bed later than intended. However, for everyone (almost), change requires learning new adaptive skills to help with keeping “that darn ball rolling” the next time you take action for change (i.e. you now have more tools in your pocket to identify potential stumbling blocks in the Maintenance phase of change). The important thing to recognize is that everyone (almost) relapses a few times. If you do, you’re human. If you don’t…please write a blog and send me the link.

Transcendence: This is the final step of the change process. In this stage, the individual has made some fundamental change in their life (perhaps neurologically, behaviourally, emotionally, interpersonally, etc.), and the new habit they’ve adopted, is finally sticking. They no longer have the “problem” they previously had. They no longer need to “change” (when it comes to this part of their life).

Some argue that people never get to this step and are always recycling between Action, Maintenance, and Relapse; although I tend to believe we are amazingly beautiful and advanced creatures. If we can’t transcend our old limiting belief systems and patterns which keep us stuck, then I wouldn’t be doing the work that I do. We absolutely can transcend our old selves.

3. You see others making changes in their lives and you’re…jealous.

Yes you are, it’s OK you can admit it. Actually, to a certain extent jealousy can be healthy indications that you are not satisfied with some aspect of your life. When you notice that you “want what someone else has” it can generate a powerful incentive within you and help to propel you towards making the changes you need to in order to no longer be jealous of what others have that you “don’t.”

Be careful however; there is a fine line between feeling “jealous” and “envious” of others. Generally, “jealousy” can lead to being better versions of ourselves, but “envy” often comes at the cost of harming yourself or others (even if it is psychological or metaphorical) – usually relationships are not made stronger if envy exists. The best way to work through it, is to speak with someone about it – if it can’t be the person you are “jealous” of, then try another friend, family member, colleague, or someone more professional (like a counsellor). Others can help transform that jealousy into fuel for your “transformation.”

4. You’re getting tired of the same old patterns…

Let’s face it; repeating the same old habits and routines, over and over again, is like living life inside of a hamster wheel. It’s good for an exercise, but it gets boring pretty quick. And isn’t doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, Einstein’s definition of “insanity?”

Well, when you notice that you’re feeling like this little guy, and you’re tired, and frustrated with repeating the same patterns, then you know you’re ready for a “change.”

5. The alternative of change is actually worse than the change itself...

I just couldn’t resist this little guy again. Using the “hamster” analogy, you know you might be ready for a change when you recognize that “not changing” is actually going to be worse for you than making the change. Sometimes this plays out as individuals continuing to engage in destructive patterns that are either directed at the individual and/or at others. Ever get really mad at a boss and later realized that you were really just frustrated with your own situation?

Regardless of the need for change, and who benefits, it comes down to the answer from one question: Would you rather own a bike or be stuck in a wheel?

You can do it. Yes you can.

If you know you need to make a change in some area of your life, and you are having difficulty, it may be due to some underlying fears and unprocessed core beliefs that have not been dealt with. A skilled EMDR practitioner can help you eliminate those fears and get you the help you need sooner rather than later, so that you can begin living the life you really want to live.

Grigore Counselling – Expect Results.

Please “like” and “share” if this blog post resonated with you.

With care and the utmost respect,

Robert A. Grigore, MCP, RCC #12316

EMDRIA-Certified EMDR Therapist

EMDRIA-Approved EMDR Consultant

Owner of Grigore Counselling

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