You’ve tried eating Keto, you’ve tried Paleo, you’ve cut carbs, you’ve cut fat, you’ve cut sugar. You’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars of diet plans and supplements — all promising that you’re going to go from zero to hero…if you JUST follow this plan. You go to the gym. You’ve sweat hundreds of thousands of hours…enough sweat that you could fill a swimming pool. You go on and on and on, but you never seem to lose the weight. At best there’s still some jiggle where you want sizzle. At worst, you can’t imagine how you’ll ever go on, and you give up. Where’d I put that last slice of pizza?
But did you know that you’ve been doing everything probably pretty close to as right as you can…except for ONE thing. And this one thing is going to be the difference between yo-yo-dieting, and dreaming of the perfect body, to actually living in it, and feeling like a winner.
What’s the “one thing?”
You’re not thinking properly.
Well…actually you are thinking about exactly as you are likely to be thinking based upon certain events that have happened to you in the past. Those particular events have created a framework in your mind, which generates one or more negative beliefs about yourself — which has made it essentially impossible for you to shed those extra pounds.
These negative beliefs are incredibly debilitating. They can pop up before or during a workout, they can creep up when you’re thinking about starting a diet, and they can leave you devastated when you fail. Here’s some of my negative beliefs that have entered my mind when I’m trying to exercise or eat well: You’re too fat; You can’t do it; I’ll never get there; I’ll never be enough; I’m ugly; I’m disgusting; Just give up; Just do it (not Nike, more like cheesecake); I’m not good enough; etc. You get the idea. Some of these beliefs have literally stopped a workout in it’s tracks. I’ve been lifting a barbell, doing chest presses, and hung up my weights and gone home. I’ve been running for kilometers, stopped dead in my tracks, and started walking home.
If it’s happened to me, I can bet it’s happened to you too in some way.
Here’s the thing: these negative beliefs go directly against your goal of getting in shape, eating well, losing weight, having more energy, and whatever else your exercise and nutritional goals are, because they go against you becoming your best YOU. We cannot be our best when we feel our worst. It just can’t happen.
Have you heard the saying that for every negative thought or criticism, we need 10 positive thoughts or compliments? That’s because negativity is so powerful that it literally changes our brains. Our ability to frame experiences into positive perspectives is directly influenced by previous trauma that we’ve experienced in our lives. There’s changes that occur in the Hippocampus of brain making it easier to see things negatively, and more less likely to respond positively — that seems like a no-win situation eh?
See how much a negative belief influences you by trying the following: if you’re a runner, go for a run and when you are starting to tire out, say the following words to yourself, “Don’t stop,” see how that influences your energy level. Next, say the words, “Keep going.” See if that’s different at all. If you’re reaching for the bag of potato chips your taste buds are begging for, say, “Don’t eat junk food,” and see how you feel. Then, say, “Be healthy,” and see how your feel.
And like you’re probably familiar with, the more negative you feel, the more self-defeating behaviours you are likely to engage in. With negative beliefs rotting your personal foundation, the best best shot you have at exercising and eating properly, is to do so out of hate. Your negative self-talk will sound something like this, “Don’t you touch that doughnut, you fat ass!” Or, “If you don’t get to the gym, you’re a loser!” These negative internal criticisms might work for a limited amount of time, but they won’t work forever. You don’t need an internal drill sergeant calling you a “maggot,” what you need is to see yourself in a positive light.
I’m not talking about “positive – thinking.” Every weight-loss guru, or self-help book can tell you that positive thinking is your “ticket” to a better you. Yes, that’s true, but what these weight-loss gurus don’t tell you, is unless you actually work through the underlying reasons for your negative beliefs, no amount of motivation is going to give you the results you actually crave.
What CAN and WILL give you the positive results you crave is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). This type of therapy unearths the roots of where those negative beliefs first came from, and eliminates them. When there’s no power source for the negative belief, it simply disappears. Seriously. And what takes its place, is a positive belief about yourself.
When you have positive beliefs about yourself – and again I’m talking about TRUE positive feelings you have about yourself that you CANNOT deny, even if you tried – you will be able to stay motivated, love eating healthy, and easily adopt healthy routines. This is because you actually want to nourish your body, because you love your body. You will WANT to do the things that make you feel calm and relaxed when it’s time for you to feel calm and relaxed, and you will WANT to do the things that you know you need to do to challenge your body, build its strength, and appreciate how it carries your heart, your mind, and your soul into each new chapter that unfolds during your day.
For a free consultation to see if EMDR is a good fit for you, please contact us today! We’re looking forward to introducing you to your new future. 1-(778)-883-4819 or info@GrigoreCounselling.com
With care and respect,
Robert A. Grigore, MCP, RCC #12316
EMDRIA Certified EMDR Therapist
EMDRIA Approved EMDR Consultant
Founder & CEO