Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) has become one of the most effective approaches for people who struggle with intense emotions, unstable relationships, and harmful coping behaviours. But how to know if you need DBT therapy or if it might be right for you? We can help you make an informed decision about your mental health.

What DBT Therapy Is Designed For

DBT was originally developed to support people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Over time, research has shown it helps with a wider range of challenges, including:

• Chronic anxiety and depression
• Emotional regulation difficulties
• Self-harm or suicidal thoughts
• Trauma-related responses
• Relationship struggles
• Impulsive or self-destructive behaviour

If you’ve already tried therapy before but found yourself “stuck” in old patterns, DBT may give you the practical tools to finally move forward.

Learn more about how DBT compares to other approaches in our guide: CBT vs. DBT vs. EMDR – What’s the Difference and Which One Is Right for Me?

Signs You May Benefit from DBT Therapy

1. Intense and Shifting Emotions

Do you feel like your emotions switch from calm to overwhelming in seconds? DBT focuses on emotional regulation skills so you can respond, not react, when feelings become too much.

2. Difficulty Maintaining Relationships

If arguments, miscommunication, or cycles of closeness and withdrawal affect your personal life, DBT offers interpersonal effectiveness skills to help you build healthier, more stable connections.

3. Impulsive Behaviour

When stress leads to overeating, overspending, substance use, or risky decisions, DBT’s mindfulness and distress tolerance skills can reduce the urge to act without thinking.

4. Self-Harm or Suicidal Thoughts

DBT was created to directly address these challenges. Therapists work with you in a supportive and structured way, teaching safer coping methods that honour your struggles without judgment.

5. Feeling “Too Much” for Other Therapies

Some people leave therapy because they feel “too emotional” or “too complicated.” DBT is designed for those who experience big emotions. It validates your experience while giving you practical tools to manage it.

What Happens in DBT Therapy?

DBT therapy usually combines:

• Individual sessions to focus on your unique challenges
• Skills groups where you learn mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and relationship skills
• Homework practice so you can apply new skills in real life

Many people in Langley, Richmond, and beyond choose DBT at Grigore Counselling because we provide a balance of structure and compassion.

Is DBT Therapy Right for You?

If you’ve recognized yourself in the signs above, DBT therapy could be a life-changing step. While it requires commitment, the skills you build can support long-term healing and stability. For patients dealing with trauma, DBT can also be combined with EMDR therapy to address root experiences while strengthening coping strategies. Book your first session today and we’ll guide you.

FAQ

1. How long does DBT therapy take to work?

Many people notice improvements within a few weeks, though a full DBT program often lasts six months to a year.

2. Is DBT only for Borderline Personality Disorder?

No. While DBT was designed for BPD, it helps with a wide range of struggles, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and emotional dysregulation.

3. Can DBT be done online?

Yes. At Grigore Counselling, DBT sessions are available both in person and online, making it easier to access support no matter where you live.

Trauma often leaves people feeling stuck in painful memories that refuse to fade. Even years later, the body and mind can react as if the traumatic event is still happening. Many people ask if EMDR therapy can truly help them heal from trauma.

The answer depends on your needs and willingness to engage in the process.

Grigore Counselling’s clinicians have seen EMDR therapy open doors to healing for clients struggling with PTSD, anxiety, grief, and complex trauma. So let us give you our perspective.

What is EMDR Therapy?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a structured form of therapy that helps reprocess traumatic memories so they no longer dominate your present. Instead of reliving painful experiences, EMDR allows your brain to store them as past events. It uses bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping, to activate both sides of the brain. This helps reduce the emotional charge connected to the memory and promotes adaptive healing.

If you are wondering what is EMDR therapy for, it is most often used with individuals who have experienced trauma, but it also shows effectiveness with anxiety, depression, phobias, and grief.

Learn more about how trauma impacts daily life in our article on Trauma-Informed Therapy.

How EMDR Helps Heal You Heal From Trauma

When you live with trauma, your nervous system often stays in a heightened state of alert. You may experience constant tension, flashbacks, or feel numb and disconnected. EMDR works by allowing your brain to finish what it could not do at the time of trauma: process the memory in a safe way. Over time, clients often report reduced emotional reactivity, improved sleep, and an increased sense of control.

For clients seeking therapy for trauma, EMDR can be one of the most effective options.

Who Might Benefit from EMDR Therapy?

Not everyone who has experienced trauma needs EMDR, but it can be particularly useful if:

• You experience flashbacks or nightmares.
• You avoid situations, places, or people that remind you of trauma.
• You feel “stuck” in the past despite other types of counselling.
• Your body reacts with panic or tension without clear triggers.

If you are unsure whether EMDR, CBT therapy, or DBT therapy would be the best fit, our therapists can help guide you in choosing the right approach. Book your first session here.

What to Expect in an EMDR Session

An EMDR session begins with preparation. Your therapist will ensure you feel safe and ready before working with difficult memories. Together, you identify a target memory and the emotions or body sensations connected to it. Through bilateral stimulation, your brain begins to reprocess the memory. Many clients notice that the memory becomes less distressing and easier to handle.

You can read more about what to expect in your first session in our post on What to Expect in a First Session, which offers helpful insights into therapy structure in general.

Combining EMDR with Other Therapies

We often integrate EMDR with other approaches. For example, someone working on emotional regulation through DBT skills may later use EMDR to address deep trauma. Others may combine EMDR with CBT for anxiety or depression. The combination allows for both immediate coping skills and long-term healing.

If you want to explore the differences between these methods, see our detailed comparison: CBT vs. DBT vs. EMDR – What’s the Difference?.

Can EMDR Work for Me?

Every healing journey is unique. Some clients notice improvements in just a few sessions, while others need more time. Research shows that EMDR is one of the most effective evidence-based treatments for trauma, but it is not a quick fix. If you are motivated to heal and open to the process, EMDR therapy can be life-changing.

Our team has therapists in Langley and also therapists in Richmond that are trained in EMDR and tailor the process to your individual story. No matter if you are healing from childhood trauma, a single traumatic event, or ongoing stress, EMDR offers a path toward relief.

Taking the Next Step

If you are considering EMDR therapy, booking a consultation is the first step. In your consultation, you and your therapist will discuss your history, your goals, and whether EMDR fits your needs. Healing from trauma is possible, and EMDR could be the key to helping your mind and body finally move forward.

FAQ

Is EMDR therapy safe?

Yes. EMDR is considered safe when guided by a trained therapist. It can be intense, but your therapist will ensure you have grounding tools and coping strategies.

How long does EMDR take to work?

Some clients feel relief within a few sessions, while others may need months of consistent therapy. The length depends on the complexity of your trauma and your goals.

Can EMDR help with anxiety, not just trauma?

Absolutely. EMDR has shown success in treating anxiety, phobias, and even grief, making it a versatile approach to many mental health concerns.

DBT for Emotional Regulation is one of the most effective therapies for managing intense emotions, reducing self-destructive behaviors, and improving overall mental health. Residents in Langley often face stress, anxiety, or trauma-related challenges, and finding the right therapy can be life-changing. Grigore Counselling provides DBT tailored to your individual needs, helping you regain control over your emotional life.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, is a structured form of cognitive-behavioral therapy. It focuses on building practical skills to handle intense feelings, tolerate distress, improve relationships, and live mindfully. Unlike traditional talk therapy, DBT combines individual therapy with group skills training and coaching. This combination gives patients real tools to regulate emotions in everyday life.

DBT for Emotional Regulation

As you may know, DBT is more than managing anger or sadness. DBT for Emotional Regulation helps clients recognize, understand, and respond to emotions in healthy ways. It’s particularly effective for anxiety, depression, trauma recovery, and stress-related conditions. Many clients notice improved relationships, better work performance, and reduced impulsive behaviors.

Mindfulness is a core component of DBT. It teaches you to observe emotions without judgment. You learn to recognize triggers and patterns before reacting impulsively. Another key skill is distress tolerance, which equips you to face difficult situations without resorting to harmful coping mechanisms like substance use or self-harm.

We integrate DBT with other therapies when appropriate. For instance, trauma survivors often benefit from a combination of DBT and EMDR therapy in Langley. Cognitive-behavioral strategies and schema therapy can also complement DBT. This approach ensures Langley residents receive therapy that addresses their unique challenges.

How DBT Helps Langley Residents

Many Langley clients struggle with chronic stress, workplace pressure, or interpersonal difficulties. DBT for Emotional Regulation provides skills to manage these challenges effectively. By learning to regulate emotions, patients reduce conflict in personal relationships, improve focus, and enhance overall wellbeing.

DBT also improves interpersonal effectiveness. Clients learn assertiveness, boundary-setting, and conflict resolution. These skills are essential for navigating personal and professional relationships. Within a few months, many clients notice better communication and healthier connections with family, friends, and colleagues.

Residents often ask, “How long will DBT take?” While every client is unique, most see significant progress within 8 to 12 weeks of consistent participation. The duration depends on emotional patterns and personal goals. Grigore Counselling offers weekly sessions as well as accelerated formats for those seeking faster results. You can schedule a consultation here.

Evidence-Based Benefits of DBT

Research consistently shows that DBT is effective for emotional regulation. Studies indicate significant reductions in emotional dysregulation, self-harm, and depressive symptoms. DBT is especially beneficial when combined with other therapies like trauma-informed therapy. The Behavioral Tech organization provides guidelines and evidence supporting DBT’s effectiveness.

DBT also supports resilience. It teaches clients how to cope with stress, recover from setbacks, and manage overwhelming emotions. For Langley residents, this means greater emotional stability in daily life and improved ability to handle challenges.

What to Expect in a DBT Program

DBT for Emotional Regulation is structured yet flexible. Sessions include:

• Individual therapy: One-on-one guidance tailored to your emotional challenges.
• Skills training groups: Learning practical techniques for mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.
• Coaching: Access to therapists for real-time support between sessions.

Each session provides actionable tools. Clients practice identifying emotions, reducing vulnerability to triggers, and responding in healthier ways. For those dealing with trauma or complex anxiety, DBT can be integrated with techniques like trauma-informed therapy for a comprehensive approach.

Why Choose Grigore Counselling in Langley

Our clinic prioritizes accessibility, trust, and evidence-based care. You can see reviews and client experiences on our Google Maps reviews. Clients consistently highlight the benefits of applying DBT skills in daily life and the personalized approach of our therapists.

We focus on patient-centered care. Our therapists collaborate with you to set goals, track progress, and apply skills outside of sessions. DBT is practical. Unlike therapies that rely primarily on discussion or insight, it equips you with skills you can apply immediately. Langley clients struggling with stress, anxiety, or emotional volatility often see measurable improvements within weeks.

Taking the First Step

If you are ready to take control of your emotions, DBT for Emotional Regulation can help. You can book your first consultation online at our booking page. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, trauma, or relationship difficulties, DBT provides practical strategies to improve emotional stability and overall quality of life.

Residents who commit to DBT often notice better emotional control, reduced impulsive behavior, and improved communication with others. Our team at Grigore Counselling is here to guide you through every step of your journey.

We know it, you want relief. You’ve heard of CBT and DBT. Both help. But which one fits you? Let’s break it down in plain language, using what we see every week in our practice.

CBT vs DBT: quick definitions that matter

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) targets the link between thoughts, feelings, and actions. You learn to spot thinking traps, test them, and choose different responses. It’s structured. It’s practical. It works well when worry, rumination, or low mood keep looping. Explore our approach to CBT therapy and the core CBT benefits.

DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) builds four skill sets: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. It’s ideal when emotions spike fast, relationships feel stormy, or urges lead to painful choices. See how we deliver DBT therapy.

Both are evidence-based. Both are teachable. Both can be adapted for online or in-person care across Richmond, Langley, and beyond. If you want a broader comparison, our guide on CBT vs. DBT vs. EMDR adds trauma-focused context.

CBT vs DBT: which is better for anxiety?

Start with your pattern.

If anxiety looks like constant worry, “what if” thinking, checking, reassurance seeking, or avoidance, CBT usually leads. We target cognitive distortions, add exposure strategies, and rebuild confidence with behavioural experiments. You learn to act with anxiety present, not wait until it disappears.

If anxiety looks like emotional surges, panic spikes, shutdown, or conflict after feeling misunderstood, DBT can be the better entry point. We stabilise the nervous system first. You learn fast-acting skills for urges and body overwhelm, then layer cognitive work once you have control.

Many clients use both. The sequence matters. For high arousal, we often begin with DBT skills to steady the system, then add CBT to shift the thinking style that fuels fear. If trauma sits underneath the anxiety, we may later integrate reprocessing work (see our page on EMDR therapy in Surrey and the research on EMDR evidence).

CBT vs DBT: which is better for depression?

Again, think in patterns.

If depression shows up as low energy, hopeless thinking, and withdrawal, CBT’s behavioural activation is powerful. We plan tiny, values-based actions. Mood usually follows behaviour. We then challenge global negative beliefs and build a more balanced inner dialogue.

If depression comes with intense mood swings, self-criticism, and relationship fallout, DBT may come first. You learn to name emotions, lower their intensity, and ask for what you need without blowing up or shutting down. When stability improves, CBT techniques stick better.

When depression is complex or trauma-linked, we often blend. DBT reduces harm and emotional whiplash. CBT builds routines and shifts thinking. EMDR addresses root memories once you’re ready. Want a structured path to getting started? Review our services and rates and then book a consultation.

How to choose for your goals

Use these cues:

• Choose CBT if your main goal is to reduce worry, challenge negative thoughts, stop avoidance, and rebuild daily structure. It’s great when you like worksheets, experiments, and clear homework. Start your CBT therapy.
• Choose DBT if your main goal is to manage big emotions, survive urges, repair relationships, and increase tolerance for distress. It’s ideal when you’ve tried to “think different” but your body still takes over. Learn more about DBT therapy.
• Choose a blend if both patterns apply. Many clients begin with DBT skills for 4–8 weeks, then add CBT goals. If trauma blocks progress, we may introduce targeted EMDR later. See our overview: CBT vs DBT vs EMDR.

What treatment looks like with us

We match the modality to the moment. Sessions are focused, collaborative, and paced to your nervous system. You get between-session practices that are realistic, not overwhelming. Prefer local care?

Read our location pages for context in your area: Therapy in Richmond and Counselling in Langley. If you’re comparing modalities for trauma-driven anxiety or depression, our article on EMDR evidence explains when trauma reprocessing fits.

CBT vs DBT: what about results?

With CBT, expect clearer thinking, better decision-making, and a steady return to activity. Panic and avoidance shrink as you test predictions and learn that you can cope.

With DBT, expect fewer blowups, fewer shutdowns, and more control under stress. You’ll notice quicker recovery from emotional spikes, improved boundaries, and healthier conversations.

With combined care, expect stability and momentum. We build a skill base, then change the loops that kept you stuck.

How we prevent relapse

Relapse prevention starts on day one. We teach you how to notice early warning signs, which skills to deploy, and how to return to your plan after slips. For some clients, periodic booster sessions help maintain gains. If deeper memories still trigger spirals, we discuss whether EMDR fits next. Our trauma articles, like How EMDR Therapy Helps Trauma Survivors, outline that path.

CBT vs DBT: cost, access, and fit

Effective therapy is an investment. We’re transparent about options.

See current services and pricing. Prefer remote care? Many clients use online sessions from home or work across BC and the North. If you want a quick conversation about fit, send a note through our contact page.

CBT vs DBT: The bottom line

“CBT vs DBT: which is better for anxiety and depression?” The best choice is the one that matches your symptom pattern, your goals, and your window of tolerance, right now.

If thoughts drive your symptoms, start with CBT. If emotions and urges derail you, start with DBT. If both, we blend. And if trauma underpins it, we add EMDR when you’re ready. You do not have to guess alone.

Ready to map a plan that fits your life? Book a consultation. We’ll recommend a clear starting point and adjust as you grow.

FAQ

Is CBT or DBT faster?

It depends on your starting point. CBT can move quickly for worry and avoidance. DBT may lead first when emotional intensity blocks progress. Many see early wins within a few weeks in either approach.

Can I switch from CBT to DBT (or vice versa)?

Yes. We routinely pivot as your needs change. Early DBT skills can make later CBT work easier. The reverse is also true.

What if my anxiety and depression are trauma-related?

We often use DBT for stability, CBT for structure, and EMDR for root healing. Learn how we sequence care in our comparison: CBT vs DBT vs EMDR, and review the research on EMDR evidence.

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health struggles today. It can affect focus, relationships, work performance, and even physical health. If you live in Richmond and are searching for effective treatment, you’ve likely come across CBT therapy in Richmond as a leading option. But what exactly is CBT, and does it really work for anxiety?

What Is CBT Therapy?

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a structured, evidence-based form of psychotherapy. It focuses on the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. The idea is simple: the way you think influences how you feel, and how you feel affects what you do.

A CBT therapist in Richmond can help you identify negative thought patterns, challenge them, and replace them with healthier perspectives. Over time, these changes can reduce anxiety and help you cope with stressful situations more effectively.

Why CBT Therapy Works for Anxiety

Anxiety often comes from cycles of worry and avoidance. For example, you might think, “If I go to this social event, something will go wrong,” which leads to physical symptoms like tension or panic. Then, to cope, you avoid the event altogether. CBT therapy breaks this cycle.

With practical tools and guided exercises, clients learn to:

• Recognize anxious thought patterns.
• Test whether those thoughts are accurate.
• Practice new behaviours in safe, manageable steps.
• Develop long-term coping strategies.

Multiple clinical studies show that CBT therapy is one of the most effective treatments for anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, and social anxiety. In fact, many of the benefits of cognitive behavioral therapy are directly related to managing and reducing anxiety.

CBT Therapy in Richmond: What to Expect

If you’re considering CBT therapy in Richmond, here’s what you can expect in your sessions:

• Goal-setting: Your therapist will help you define specific outcomes you’d like to achieve.
• Practical exercises: You’ll learn skills such as reframing thoughts, breathing techniques, or exposure exercises.
• Homework: CBT often includes tasks outside of sessions, like journaling or practicing new strategies in real life. If you want to know more, here is what to expect in your first CBT session with us.
• Short-term structure: Unlike some therapies that last for years, CBT is often time-limited, usually 8–20 sessions.

How CBT Compares to Other Therapies

Clients often ask how CBT compares to other approaches. For example:

• DBT therapy: More focused on emotional regulation and relationships, especially for clients dealing with intense emotions or borderline personality disorder.
• EMDR therapy in Richmond: Highly effective for trauma and PTSD, helping reprocess distressing memories.

CBT is especially recommended when anxiety is the primary concern, though some clients benefit from combining approaches. For a deeper dive into therapeutic comparisons, our article on CBT vs. DBT vs. EMDR offers a comprehensive overview.

Does CBT Really Work?

The short answer is yes. CBT has decades of research backing its effectiveness. Many clients notice improvements within just a few sessions. It doesn’t eliminate all stress or fear, those are normal human experiences, but it gives you tools to prevent anxiety from controlling your life.

The real impact depends on your willingness to engage in the process, practice the skills, and work collaboratively with your therapist. If you’re at a point where you’re asking “how I know you need therapy“, CBT is an excellent starting point.

Choosing CBT Therapy in Richmond

If anxiety is limiting your quality of life, connecting with a therapist is a strong first step. We offer CBT therapy in Richmond.

Our team of clinicians provides a supportive environment where you can learn strategies to regain control and reduce anxiety’s grip on your daily life. Take the step today and book your CBT session.

FAQ

1. How long before I notice results from CBT therapy?

Most clients see some improvement within 6–8 sessions, though lasting changes may take longer.

2. Is CBT therapy in Richmond covered by insurance?

Many extended health plans in BC cover counselling with registered therapists. It’s best to check with your provider.

3. Can CBT help if I have both anxiety and depression?

Yes. CBT is effective for multiple conditions, and your therapist can tailor strategies to address both.

Starting therapy can feel a bit daunting. You might wonder if you’ll need to talk about childhood, cry, or even feel judged. If you’ve chosen Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), it helps to know exactly what to expect in your first CBT session. We know it, so this guide walks you through what really happens, how the first session feels, and how CBT begins to work. That way, you walk in feeling as supported as ready!

The basics of CBT:

Before diving in, it’s helpful to understand the basics.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a short-to-medium-term, evidence-based therapy focused on how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are connected. Instead of just talking about your past, CBT helps you solve present-day problems with practical tools.

If you’re looking for structured help with anxiety, depression, OCD, insomnia, or stress-related struggles, CBT is one of the most researched and effective options available.

What to Expect in Your First CBT Session

Let’s break it down step by step.

1. Warm welcome and consent process

Your therapist will begin with a warm introduction. You’ll go over:

• Confidentiality and its limits
• What CBT therapy involves
• Goals for the session
• Any intake forms (if not already completed)

This isn’t a rushed conversation. It’s a space for you to ask questions.

2. What brought you to therapy?

Next, your therapist will ask open-ended questions about why you came in.

You might talk about:

• Trouble sleeping or constant worry
• Negative thoughts you can’t shake
• Panic attacks or social anxiety
• Feeling stuck or down
• A specific situation like a breakup, job loss, or health issue

The goal is not to “fix” anything yet, but to understand your experience and identify key patterns.

3. Learning how CBT works

Your therapist will explain the CBT model, how thoughts affect feelings and actions. For example:

“If I think I’m going to fail this presentation, I feel anxious, so I avoid preparing. Then it goes badly, and the belief is reinforced.”

This framework helps you see how your mind works. You’ll start learning that thoughts aren’t facts, and that changing your thinking can shift how you feel and behave.

4. Beginning to identify patterns

In the first session, your therapist might already begin identifying unhelpful thought or behaviour loops. You may start discussing:

• Automatic thoughts (e.g. “I’m not good enough”)
• Cognitive distortions (e.g. catastrophizing, mind-reading)
• Avoidance patterns (e.g. procrastination, over-controlling)

This is done gently, collaboratively. And without judgment.

5. Discussing goals and treatment plan

CBT is structured. Most therapists will help you set clear, realistic goals.

For example:

• “Reduce panic attacks from weekly to monthly”
• “Sleep through the night without rumination”
• “Handle criticism without spiraling into self-doubt”

These goals help shape your treatment plan. CBT is usually 8–20 sessions, depending on the issue.

6. Home practice: what to expect

Unlike traditional talk therapy, CBT often includes homework, not as a burden, but as a tool for growth.

In your first session, your therapist may suggest:

• Tracking thoughts
• Practising a calming technique
• Observing a specific situation before next session

The goal is not perfection. It’s practice.

7. How you might feel after

Most people leave their first CBT session feeling:

• Relieved: “I’m not alone in this”
• Curious: “I never thought about it like that”
• Hopeful: “This could actually help me”

Some may also feel tired or emotionally stirred. That’s normal. Change starts with awareness, and even that can feel like hard work at first.

How to Prepare for Your First CBT Session

• Reflect on what’s bothering you and what’s getting in the way of living fully
• Write down a few key examples or situations that are on your mind
• Stay open-minded. You don’t need to have all the answers, just a willingness to explore
• Know that discomfort is OK. Growth often starts there!

Getting Started with CBT with us

If you’ve been struggling with anxiety for years or just noticed your mood slipping, CBT helps you move forward. Our experienced clinicians offer CBT both in-person and online across BC, Alberta, and the Northwest Territories.

We tailor therapy to your needs. Book a CBT session today

FAQs: CBT Therapy

Is CBT right for me if I’ve had therapy before?

Yes. CBT is structured and goal-oriented. Even if you’ve done talk therapy in the past, CBT gives you new tools and perspectives.

Do I have to do homework every week?

Not necessarily. Home practice is encouraged, but your therapist will adjust based on your pace and capacity.

Can CBT help with trauma?

Yes, especially when combined with other approaches like EMDR therapy. CBT can help reduce symptoms of PTSD, though it may not address trauma processing as deeply as EMDR.

You know exactly what you want: write that book, start therapy, say no more often, apply for the job, set better boundaries, or even just take a break. And yet, you don’t. Why we avoid doing what we want to do? Not because you’re lazy or weak. But because something deeper is happening under the surface.

Avoidance is one of the most common patterns we see in therapy. It can show up as procrastination, self-sabotage, perfectionism, or even overworking. At Grigore Counselling, we work with people every day who feel stuck. They want change. They can almost taste it. But they can’t seem to act on it.

So, why do we avoid doing the very things we want to do?

Avoidance Is a Protective Strategy

Most avoidance isn’t about the task. It’s about the emotional weight we associate with the task. That email you’re not sending? It’s vulnerability, rejection, or responsibility.

The brain is wired to protect us from discomfort. When it senses a threat, real or imagined, it engages in avoidance. This is often unconscious. You may say “I’ll do it tomorrow,” or “I need more time to think.” But underneath that is often anxiety, shame, or fear of failure.

This is where therapy comes in. Working with a therapist helps you become more aware of these emotional blocks and start moving through them. Our therapists are trained to work with the nervous system and trauma responses. We help clients unpack what’s really going on when avoidance keeps them stuck.

The Role of the Nervous System

Your body holds memory, not just your mind. When you avoid something you want, it may be because your nervous system has linked that action to a threat response. You want to speak up in a meeting, but your chest tightens. You want to end the relationship, but your stomach drops.

This physical resistance is not weakness. It’s learned survival.

Grigore Counselling offers trauma-informed therapy to help people work with—not against—their bodies. Modalities like EMDR or somatic therapy help clients process the past and finally take action in the present.

Emotional Perfectionism and the “Should” Trap

Avoidance often hides behind perfectionism. You want to start, but only if you can guarantee it’ll go well. You want to make the change, but only if you’re sure it won’t upset anyone.

This emotional perfectionism is rooted in early experiences. Maybe you learned that making a mistake led to punishment. Or that your needs didn’t matter unless they were convenient.

CBT therapy can help challenge these rigid thought patterns. Together, you and your therapist can explore the difference between what you want and what you’ve been conditioned to should.

How Therapy Helps You Move from Avoidance to Action

Therapy offers a space to explore your fears without judgment. You don’t need to have it all figured out before seeking support.

We help clients go from being stuck in avoidance to taking meaningful, aligned action. This doesn’t happen overnight, but with consistent support, small steps become powerful shifts.

For example, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) offers concrete skills in emotional regulation and distress tolerance. These are often exactly what’s missing when someone says: “I just can’t make myself do it.”

You Don’t Need to Push Through Alone

Avoidance is not laziness. It’s a symptom of something deeper. And the good news is, it can be addressed.

If this sounds like you, therapy may be the next step. Our diverse team of therapists work across British Columbia, Yukon, and online across Canada. Sessions are available in-person or virtually to support your healing journey.

Ready to start doing what you really want to do?

Reach out today to book your first session.

FAQ: Why We Avoid Doing What We Want to Do

Why do I avoid doing things that are good for me?

Avoidance is often linked to emotional or psychological discomfort. Your brain may associate certain actions with fear, rejection, or failure, even if they’re good for you. Therapy helps identify and rewire these associations.

How do I stop procrastinating when I know what I want?

Start small. Recognize the emotion behind the procrastination. Therapy can help uncover these hidden blocks and offer tools for motivation and follow-through.

Can therapy really help with avoidance?

Yes. Many clients come to therapy feeling stuck. Working with a therapist helps break the cycle of avoidance by addressing its root causes, whether trauma, perfectionism, or nervous system dysregulation.

What to do when basic tasks feel impossible? Read on.

You stare at the sink full of dishes. Your body won’t move. Laundry piles up. Emails go unanswered. You feel stuck, and maybe a little ashamed. You’re not lazy. You’re overwhelmed. And you’re not alone. At our practice, we hear this often:

“Why can’t I do simple things anymore?”

The truth? Basic tasks can feel impossible when your brain and nervous system are under stress.

What to Do When Basic Tasks Feel Impossible: It’s Not About Willpower

Let’s start here: this isn’t a motivation issue. When brushing your teeth or sending a text feels like climbing a mountain, something deeper is going on.

Chronic stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, these all impact executive functioning. That’s the part of your brain responsible for planning, prioritizing, and follow-through. When it’s overloaded, everything feels harder.

Your body might feel heavy. Your thoughts might spiral. You might even dissociate without realizing it.

Trauma-informed therapy helps you understand and regulate these responses. We help clients move from frozen to functional, step by step.

The Role of the Nervous System

When the nervous system is dysregulated, even basic routines become a threat. Your body might live in a state of fight, flight, or freeze. You want to act, but your body says no.

This is especially common in clients living with unresolved trauma or chronic burnout.

Somatic therapy or EMDR can support your system in reprocessing these patterns. When your body feels safer, action becomes more possible.

What You Can Do (Even When You Feel Frozen)

Here are strategies we use with clients who feel paralyzed by the basics:

1. Shrink the Task

If “clean the kitchen” feels too big, shrink it to “put one dish in the sink.” One dish becomes two. Action builds momentum.

2. Pair with Support

Can you do the task with someone on speakerphone? Text a friend when you’re starting and finishing? Connection helps activate our social nervous system and makes tasks feel less isolating.

3. Anchor to Your Body

Notice your feet. Take three slow breaths. Place your hand on your chest. You don’t need to push through. You need to feel safe.

CBT therapy can also help reframe the shame narrative:
“What’s wrong with me?” becomes, “My system is overwhelmed. I need support.”

Don’t Wait to Hit Rock Bottom

Many people wait too long to seek therapy. They think things need to get worse before they get help. The truth? Feeling stuck is enough.

Our clients often tell us:
“I thought I had to do it alone. I didn’t know help could feel this human.”

Grigore Counselling works across BC, Yukon, and beyond. We offer virtual sessions, flexible options, and a diverse team of therapists. You don’t need to have it all together. You just need to start.

Book your first session, even if you feel like you’re barely holding it together.

FAQ: When Basic Tasks Feel Impossible

Why do basic things feel so hard for me?

Your nervous system may be overwhelmed. Stress, anxiety, depression, and trauma all impair executive functioning. Therapy helps you identify and rewire these blocks.

Is there a name for this experience?

Yes. It’s often linked to functional freeze or executive dysfunction. It’s not laziness—it’s your system signaling overload.

Can therapy really help me get my life back on track?

Yes. We help clients gently build capacity, process what’s underneath the freeze, and start living again—on their terms.

If you’ve heard the term Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and felt overwhelmed, you’re not alone. It’s one of the most misunderstood mental health conditions. And also one of the most treatable. One of the best-supported treatments for BPD is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT).

What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) affects how you relate to others, how you manage emotions, and how you see yourself. If you struggle with intense emotions, unstable relationships, or fear of abandonment, you may be dealing with BPD.

Common symptoms of BPD include:

• Rapid emotional shifts
• Fear of rejection or abandonment
• Intense or unstable relationships
• Difficulty controlling anger
• Impulsive behaviours (spending, substance use, etc.)
• Chronic feelings of emptiness
• Self-harm or suicidal thoughts

It’s important to know: These are symptoms, not flaws. Many individuals with BPD have experienced early trauma, neglect, or emotional invalidation. This isn’t your fault. And yes, you can get better.

Borderline Personality Disorder and DBT: Why It Works

DBT was specifically created for Borderline Personality Disorder by Dr. Marsha Linehan in the 1990s. Since then, it has become the gold standard of care.

DBT helps because it teaches four core skills that people with BPD often didn’t learn growing up:

1. Mindfulness – Being present and aware without judgment
2. Distress Tolerance – Managing pain without making things worse
3. Emotion Regulation – Understanding and reducing emotional reactivity
4. Interpersonal Effectiveness – Navigating relationships and asking for what you need

Instead of focusing only on talking about your past, DBT gives you practical tools to handle the now. It’s structured, skills-based, and proven to help reduce emotional distress and self-destructive behaviours.

Learn more about DBT therapy options at Grigore Counselling.

What Does a DBT Program Look Like?

Grigore Counselling offers DBT that may include:

• Individual sessions (weekly, focused on personal goals)
• Skills training (learning and applying DBT strategies)
• Therapist consultation teams (ensuring top-quality care)

Even if you’re not ready for the full program, many clients benefit from DBT-informed therapy. We tailor your treatment based on your needs.

What to Expect Emotionally

Many clients ask: Is DBT hard?

The honest answer: yes, sometimes. It’s work. You’ll face uncomfortable emotions and challenge patterns that no longer serve you. But it’s also empowering. Clients often tell us:

“For the first time, I don’t feel like a problem. I feel understood and I have tools.”

Borderline Personality Disorder and DBT: Who It Helps

DBT is effective not only for BPD, but also for:

• PTSD
• Suicidal ideation
• Self-harm
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Eating disorders
• Addictions

DBT is especially helpful when emotions feel like they “take over” or when relationships feel chaotic.

The Long-Term Outlook

Here’s the good news: BPD is treatable. Studies show that 88% of people with BPD no longer meet criteria after a year or more of DBT. With commitment and the right support, recovery is absolutely possible.

Our clinicians provide DBT-informed care that respects your identity, trauma history, and cultural background. You’ll be met with compassion, not judgment.

FAQs About Borderline Personality Disorder and DBT

1. Can DBT work even if I’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t help?

Yes. DBT is a different approach—structured, practical, and research-backed. Many clients who didn’t improve with other therapies find success with DBT.

2. How long does DBT take to work?

Most DBT programs last 6–12 months. Some clients start seeing change in a few weeks; others need longer. Your therapist will work with your pace.

3. Is BPD a lifelong condition?

No. With the right support and commitment, many people no longer meet diagnostic criteria within 1–2 years. Change is absolutely possible.

You know you should take care of yourself. But every time you try, you stall. You scroll instead of shower. You cancel the walk you planned. You promise to rest, but end up working late, again.

This isn’t laziness. It’s not a lack of discipline.

It’s something deeper.

From a therapist’s lens, when self-care feels hard, it’s often because your nervous system is already working overtime just to keep you afloat.

The Myth of Effortless Self-Care

Self-care is marketed like a spa day or a face mask. But real self-care can be messy, emotional, and exhausting.

It means saying no. Resting when you feel guilty. Eating when you’d rather ignore your hunger. Setting boundaries that others won’t like.

For trauma survivors or those with chronic stress, even identifying your needs can feel foreign. That’s where therapy helps. Grigore Counselling works with people who feel blocked from the very things that are supposed to help.

And that doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you need support, not more pressure.

Why Is Self-Care So Hard?

Here’s what we often see in our clients:

Nervous system dysregulation

When you’re constantly in fight, flight, or freeze, your brain doesn’t prioritize reflection or rest. Your survival system says, “There’s no time for a bath. We need to stay alert.”

Shame cycles

Many people think they have to earn self-care. If they haven’t achieved enough, they deny themselves rest. That turns care into a reward instead of a right.

Attachment wounds

If no one consistently cared for you growing up, it may feel unsafe or unfamiliar to care for yourself now. DBT, IFS, and trauma-informed therapy can help rewire these patterns.

Emotional avoidance

For some, slowing down brings up discomfort. When you’re alone and quiet, the feelings you’ve been avoiding come up. So you keep busy. Or distracted. Or numb.

Therapy Helps You Redefine Self-Care

Real self-care isn’t just what feels good, it’s what helps you heal.

We often tell our clients this:

• Self-care is eating before you’re starving.
• It’s leaving the party when you’re overstimulated.
• It’s going to therapy when you’re tired of pretending you’re fine.

Therapies like CBT, DBT, and EMDR help clients identify the internal blocks that make care feel hard. We don’t just give you a list of what to do, we help you understand why it feels impossible in the first place.

When You’ve Tried Everything and Still Feel Stuck

If you’ve bought the journals, downloaded the apps, and signed up for yoga, but nothing sticks, it’s not because you’re hopeless. It’s because behavior change without emotional healing doesn’t last.

We’ve worked with clients across BC, the Yukon, and even remote areas like Yellowknife. They all have one thing in common: they thought they should be able to figure it out alone.

But care isn’t supposed to be a solo act.

Therapy helps you learn how to listen to your needs, soothe your stress, and reconnect with your body. Slowly. Safely. Sustainably.

Gentle First Steps

We don’t push our clients into bubble baths and gratitude journals. We begin with the nervous system.

Try this:

• Place one hand on your chest. One on your belly.
• Take a slow, 4-second inhale.
• Hold for 2 seconds.
• Exhale for 6.
• Do it again. Just twice.

That’s self-care. Right there. No products. No pressure. Just presence.

And if it still feels too hard, that’s okay. That’s your sign, not of failure, but of overwhelm. And that’s exactly what therapy can help with. Reach out to us if you want to talk to someone who gets it.

FAQ: When Self-Care Feels Hard

Why do I feel guilty taking care of myself?

Guilt is common when you’ve been conditioned to prioritize others or tie your worth to productivity. Therapy helps untangle those beliefs.

Can therapy help me stick to a self-care routine?

Yes. We work on what’s under the resistance, like trauma, shame, or nervous system burnout, so that routines become natural, not forced.

Is it normal to feel worse when I try to rest?

Yes. Rest can bring up stored emotions. If your system is used to being in overdrive, slowing down can feel unsafe at first. You’re not alone.